Tired

I'm getting to the point where I'm getting tired. Tired of being tired of my thoughts. I'm thinking of going to see a counselor when Jared leaves. Two more months and he will be in Texas training. A month after that he will be in Iraq. I'm so very afraid. I love him and worry about him being over there. He thinks I'll be fine with just the support of my family, but I don't think that will be enough. Don't get me wrong they are great, but sometimes they tell me what I want to hear. Instead of the truth.

I have ups and downs. And sometimes they are small and not as bad. Other times I blow up for no reason or blow things out of proportion. I've been doing the worse one lately. God bless Jared for dealing with my craziness. Sometimes I feel like it's unfair for him to deal with it. He doesn't even seem like it bothers him. But I do wonder if it does.

I'm wanting to have a part time job when Jared is gone. He says I don't have to but I am starting to feel like a bum. I don't work. He does. I'm not in school. He is. I just don't want him to think I'm taking advantage of him. I'm going to go to the campus on base Tuesday and talk to someone about what I can do. Now that I'm married to Jared I can get back into school a lot easier than if I was a regular civilian. I'm also going to try harder to fill out applications to places. Maybe a few clothing stores. Places that aren't very fast pace that way I can kind of being in a relaxing atmosphere when he leaves.