In a rut

   ...Today has been a long day...

Let me start from the beginning

   I had to be to work at 7:00am... YES seven in the morning... The day started off okay but I was seriously drained from the night before. Even though I'm extremely exhausted the next day when I stay up the night before with Jared, it is completely worth it. He is still in search for a deployment soon so that we can pay our bills off. Every moment with my incredible husband is a moment that I try to take advantage of. 

   I got to work this morning and could not in any way shape or form get into it. Being a groomer is a fun job that I seriously love but of course, I was the guinea pig for a new cleaning schedule this morning. Our salon manager marked off my 7-9 spots so that I didn't have any dogs to groom so that I could deep clean the bathing bunker and kennels. Oh joy what a wonderful morning.  So for all of 3 hours until my next dog came in I spent on my hands and knees, sweating my ass off cleaning. As I was scrubbing the walls behind the kennels with a long brush I ended up harpooning myself in the leg with the end of the brush stick, or broom stick if you will. So now I have a lovely bruise on my thigh that hurts constantly... 

   Once it hit 9:30am I checked the schedule and realized my first dog of the morning coming in was a husky. Not only was he a husky but he was a Furminator (conditioner and brush we use for shedding). Not only was this dog also a Furminator... But he also had notes. So naturally I thought to myself, "great" as I rolled my eyes and checked the computer.

 "DO NOT BOOK ON WEEKENDS. THIS DOG IS VERY DOG AGGRESSIVE. 

WILL BITE FOR DRYER. MUST BE KENNEL DRIED ONLY" 

   I knew at that moment my day was about to get worse. 

   So once the husky came in, I checked him in and brought him to the back. Once I got him to the bathing bunker I decided to brush him before bathing him that way I could get out most of the fur. Bad idea. Once I started to come near him with a brush he started barking and crying and howling and moving all over the place as if I was about to stab him with it. I got him calmed and slowly and gently started to brush his back. That's when he turned around and bit my arm. Thank the Lord he didn't draw any blood. After that I had one of the other groomers help me and he did much better. I could not dry him what so ever with the hand held so I had to put him in the kennel and it took all of about 4 hours to dry him. Not only did I have to stay a little late.. But I stayed over an hour and a half past the time I got off work to finish him...

Finally I got off work and went straight home.

Once I got home I was so glad to have an end to this shitty day. But of course it didn't stop there. The inevitable fact in the back of my head kept creeping into my thoughts... How are we going to afford IUI and IVF? 

   I'm very positive that even if we do IUI, it still isn't going to work and that IVF is our only option. I'm wondering if we should skip IUI all together and go straight for IVF. This is something that I contemplate every day. I'm wondering if I should start up a donation site for us to come up with the money for it. $20,000 is a lot of money and unfortunately Tricare doesn't cover any of it. Sigh. 

   The only thing that will make my day better is when Jared gets off work and I can finally get some relief and be with the only person that understands. Just be with the only person that makes these constant thoughts disappear. Which thankfully he will be home within and hour.

   Love Always,

      Anna